1904 is lame...and so is 1905

Well...I'm a couple of days late...I know I know. So it turns out 1904 was a dud of a year because there is only one surviving film...by Melies of course. So after that we'll do all of 1905 (there are only 2) which will make us halfway done with the 1900s!! I would just like to say that i'm a truly happy camper. Let's get on with the show!!

Like I said 1904 only had one film and it's by our favorite french director Georges Melies...take a gander at the first part of An Impossible Voyage!

So...a couple of things about this piece. Melies has gotten really good at what he does but...at this point there should be something new. It's extremely possible that the technology doesn't exist to do anything new, I have no idea if it does or not, but i'm starting to get bored instead of being impressed. What I was impressed by was all of the moving parts. The large wheel, the piston/engine thingy, and the train/auto-van thing/submarine were all very well done. Now for my one major complaint (i'm not even upset about the story, which was weird as hell)...CAN YOU PLEASE MOVE IN CLOSER!! I don't understand why half the train or submarine is cut just to see the actors...Porter did it a year ago Melies why can't you?? This is probably my only criticism of Melies in general, he just doesn't move the camera closer. The only time he did this was in Gulliver's Travels back in 1902 and even then it could have been done a bit better. Now don't get me wrong I loved this WAY more than A Trip to the Moon but I would like a bit more variety from Georges.

Now we move on to 1905 with Cecil Hepworth's Baby's Toilet...

I honestly don't have words for how bored I was while watching this...For those of you who know me you know that I absolutely loathe babies and those of you who don't know me...I LOATHE babies. That is all.

Now for the last film of 1905 that I could find. Another Hepworth piece called Rescued by Rover. 

Yes I know the plot was about rescuing a baby...to you. To me it was about the bravery and intelligence of Rover! Especially since that mother was clearly batshit crazy (not talking about the possessive hobo). Who walks your baby...BEHIND YOU?!? I don't understand. The hobo, while poor and living in complete squalor, was still a more caring mother figure than that poor excuse for a biological mother. One way for me to hate you forever is to neglect your child. As a victim of negligence I absolutely refuse to accept any form of it in a positive way. That said I thought this was a well produced film with a variety of shots that include some close ups, wide and pans. Also I love that it was 70% outside! Good work Hepworth.

That's it for today...I know it's a short post but to make up for it I will do two years next time! Thanks for staying with me and I hope you'll continue to do so.

The 20th Century! : 1900

Why hello there! Today is the start of something fantastic...the 20th century!! We have 5 films to get through today so let's get started shall we?...we shall! 


First up is As Seen Through A Telescope by George Albert Smith. It took some digging to find a video but I did and it's an interesting piece...

There are 3 shots in this film (which is more than a lot of the pieces we've seen up until now) and is classified as a comedy. It's kind of extremely boring in my opinion...L'Arroseur Arrose was infinitely funnier than this. I don't know maybe i'm just tired but I didn't see the humor in this at all (post a comment if you feel differently). All in all it wasn't too terrible and is certainly a nice film to start the century on. 


Next we have Sir Edison doing what he does best...showing absolutely nothing. This time in The Enchanted Drawing a guy draws a picture and then some supplemental accessories (which were also drawn on) are taken and put back on the drawing and depending on the action the picture reacts...mkay. 

 It's probably because i've grown up with CGI and 3D but I certainly wasn't impressed. Although I think someone in the 1900s would have completely flipped their shit during or after watching this short piece. I also wonder when animation burst on to the scene because there are some major animation elements in the tricks used to simulate the enchantment. You should go find the answer and let me know! (I'll wait......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................you find it?...No?...........LOOK AGAIN!.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................assuming you've tried harder leave the answer somewhere on this page and I will reward you with love and admiration =D.) 


Now that we have enlightened ourselves let's move on to the next film...the birth of Michael Bay (also known as Explosion of a Motor Car). 

So a couple of things...why the heck was the cop just flinging body parts around...not cool man!! And speaking of that...if there was an actual 'splosion why weren't the clothes of the poor car riders slightly tattered (at the very least)?? After that the piece was certainly interesting and should be applauded in it's use of editing and other special effects. We need more of this...you know just shit being blown up. Screw stories, plots, and character development! It's all about the 'SPLOSIONS!!

Moving along through this year we have another Smith piece, Grandma's Reading Glass...

sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I don't understand why it was so important for this Smith guy to put a black piece of paper with a whole in it over the camera lens. Like...the proportions are all wrong and there is no peripheral vision which is just dumb...not a fan. 

Ok so this next piece is the first cinematic incarnation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes character. Let's watch! 

...so Holmes gets robbed by Nightcrawler??...

That's it for today...I know it's a bit short but my life is a little busy right now as I finish up summer session (2 more weeks!) and get ready for my 21st birthday!! (about a week and a half away). Next time we'll get into 1901 and slowly but surely we're going to have some more plot! (such excitement). See you on Sunday! 

Films Watched Today
- As Seen Through A Telescope (George Smith)
- The Enchanted Drawing (Thomas Edison)
- Explosion of a Motor Car (Cecil Hepworth)
- Grandma's Reading Glass (George Smith)
- Sherlock Holmes Baffled (Arthur Marvin)